Wednesday 23 July 2014

our secret to a happy marriage (that we've learned after 11 years)

Our 11th wedding anniversary was on June 21. 11 years! It feels longer, but in a good way. It probably comes as no surprise that I'm blogging about it a month later. Procrastination takes time (;

We celebrated with a chill "Dajo & Scott day." We visited the Old Strathcona Farmer's Market and picked up Frickin' Delights Donuts (a must! see picture below), took Lucy on a long walk in the river valley and strolled down Whyte Ave. window shopping. While on Whyte Ave. we passed by Meat, a bbq joint opened by the owners of the Next Act Pub. It looked like our kind of place so we immediately cancelled our reservations at our go-to fancy restaurant and went there instead. I'm so glad we did. The drinks were strong and the garlic fries, house-made pickles and fried chicken really hit the spot. Don't get me wrong, dressing up and having a night out on the town is great, but anniversaries don't have to include that to be wonderful. Better to let go of the notion of anniversary perfection and instead live in the moment. Spontaneity has a tendency to bring its friend "fun" along for the ride. Who doesn't love fun or pickles?!

photo 1

Speaking of fun times, we visited Charleston for our anniversary last year and shared Our 10 for a Happy Marriage. It was a popular post (thanks for reading, kids!) so here's this year's marriage tip:

Scott and I have made it a habit to greet one another at the door after coming home from work (or running errands, etc). Those first few moments spent together set a positive tone for the evening. So if he's downstairs watching tv, he gets up and makes his way to the front door. And vice versa. It's one of the things I look most forward to at the end of a long day. Knowing that no matter what kind of day I've had, a friendly loving face is going to plant a big one on me and hug me as soon as I walk in the door (full disclosure: Lucy also plants big ones on me). This simple gesture also tells your partner you value them and they're more important than anything you might be doing at that moment (um, like scrolling through your IG or Facebook feed).

photo 2

Just last week, I came home ragged and annoyed from my commute. It had taken me over an hour to get home (dang summer construction!) and I took my frustration out on Scott soon after he greeted me at the door. I quickly realized I was being a brat, so I left the house and closed the door behind me. I stood there for a few minutes and then knocked a couple of times. Scott opened the door and I asked, "Hi, can we start again?" And we did.

Try it. It's goofy and your partner may think you've lost your marbles, but I can guarantee from personal experience that it'll clear the air and probably make you both laugh.

I guess that's actually two tips. Let me know if you end up trying either of them! What little secrets and tips do you have for relationships? I'd love to hear.

Hope you're having a great week!

P.S. Yup, that's the outfit from my last post.

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