Winter Musings

Charity begins at home...and so does kindness.  When I need to make changes in myself, mostly in regards to fitness and well-being, I am far more successful when the changes become a source of pleasure and not torture.  And it begins with being gentle and kind especially when my inner critic is threatening to chastise me.

I reflected recently that any major changes I have made in my life I accomplished on my own.  I didn't rely on any program, facility, or guru...I charted my own course and stuck to it.  And in each case, I had success.  But the precipitating factor was always an abrupt unveiling of Reality which resulted in a quick departure from Denial and that is what fueled my return to well-being.

A friend asked me today how we can begin a health and beauty regimen without a future event, such as a wedding or trip, as a goal.  I wondered how I would do it without any particular motivation.  I decided it begins with kindness and a commitment to ourselves.

For me, I need to get my sleep issues under control again.  Without a good night's sleep, I eat the wrong things and I am too lethargic for exercise.  And no matter what promises I make to myself, the moment I fall short, negative self-talk kicks in and I am once again on the fast track to failure.

Winter is a perfect time for change.  The new year brings a fresh start along with the new pretty calendars.  But we have to give ourselves a chance to ramp up to the new scheme.  Kindness means understanding that our path may lead us two steps forward and one step back and that the real challenge is silencing the malevolent voice within.

I plan on being kinder to myself in my approach to beauty and fitness.  Instead of punishing exercise, I have gone back to yoga.  Instead of sleep aids, I am back to drinking frothy warm milk before bed.  I know I can eat and enjoy salad for lunch and give up afternoon caffeine.  If I need to indulge, I will...but then I will get back on track.  All that matters is trying because trying turns into doing.  And doing it with my head held high will get me there a lot faster.

~

Inconsequential Miscellany:

~I felt quite sad at the passing of Alan Rickman, one of my favorite actors.  I especially loved him as Col. Brandon in Sense and Sensibility where his brown eyes held a vulnerability that belied his vigorous regimented past.  And I am gladder than ever that he had the chance to get his girl at last. I never tire of watching him pace in his tall boots as he frets over his beloved Marianne.

~Storyline not withstanding, the clothes in this season's Downton Abbey have been exquisite.  I especially admire Mary's various dressing gowns - one in a perfect Asian print of Wedgwood blue. As well, we were treated to an amazing glimpse of Mary's skivvies as she undressed with lady's maid Anna's help.  As her dress dropped to the floor (for poor Anna to retrieve), her luscious bralett and panties were front and center in creamy lace.  A friend pondered if the internet mighten be lit up with searches for the brand.

~I recently wrote an article about upgrading one's at-home loungewear for the cold stormy days ahead.  Our model above is wearing a long cozy cashmere robe as she begins her New Year's beauty regime.  Here, I leave you with other choices to inspire (most impractical...all lovely):

On the Fifth Day of a Feminine Christmas

This is clearly an ad for a blanket.  But I love the cheery disarray of the bedroom, especially the wrappings and ribbons scattered about.  And how will she ever not step on that sweet little tea cup and saucer?  I really love her luxurious sweeping robe too.

I always put some thought into my nightclothes for Christmas.  My mother taught me to do that because so many pictures are taken on Christmas morning while opening gifts.  That's not the case in my house now...and I wouldn't allow it anyway.  But still, I like having new pajamas at Christmas and since a brand new son-in-law will be here, I feel I can't just wear any old thing.

For winter, there is nothing so cozy as a proper robe but I usually wear a long cashmere cardigan over my pajamas.  I love the feel against my shoulders and since I wear spaghetti-strapped pajama tops for comfortable cool sleeping, I need the warmth of a cozy sweater in the morning.  I noticed that a lot of designers, including Eileen Fisher, offer cashmere alternatives to robes and they make great cover-ups when the house is cold.  But mostly, I choose my nightwear just for me and it is still an important holiday consideration of mine.  Call me old-fashioned.

My grandmother gave me a flannel nightgown every year at Christmas.  I still remember some them:  red tartan, printed gold abstracts on a feminine bodice...and I remember one beautiful flannel nightie I bought for myself.  It was creamy white with a wide yoke filled with embroidered flowers.  I remember what it cost too:  $35 and that was a large sum for a new working girl.  That gown is immortalized in my head because of some pictures I have of me wearing it on Christmas morning that year.

Those were the days when nightclothes still mattered.  Lingerie departments were filled with luxe choices and saleswomen actually knew the merchandise and helped out.  Sleepwear and lingerie was a serious business.  Now the largest lingerie store is the local Victoria Secret which always looks to me like an adolescent boy is on the design staff.  I do most of my lingerie shopping online.  I know what I like and I know where to find it.

This year, I have selected a very pretty set of rose-colored flannel pants and matching sleeveless top.  The print is charming with birds and pinecones on branches which contrasts beautifully with the soft color and lace neck trim.  It didn't cost alot because I knew where to look and the exact moment to pounce.  I'll wear my new set with a white crocheted cashmere sweater and pink wool slippers.  I like to match on Christmas.  My grandmother would be proud.

I keep my "robes" across the end of my bed at night.  Someone told me I do that because I'm a lady and although it was a sweet compliment, it's just an old habit.  It's done in almost every vintage film I've ever seen.  I don't think I would take the time to put on robe and slippers if my house were on fire but I find it comforting to have these things close by.

PS:  if you have any Christmas lingerie wishes, I would love to hear about them.

Exposed Lingerie and Dance & Fashion

I visited the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York City for two wonderful exhibits last week.  Exposed A History of Lingerie traced intimate apparel from the eighteenth century to the present.  It was a well-curated collection of lovely undergarments beginning with a corset and ending with an astonishing sapphire blue bra and panty set from La Perla.  The range of the collection shows that lingerie can run the gambit from completely functional to impossibly alluring and frivolous.  I've always believed that lingerie is the last bastion of pure femininity and the last place where a woman's wardrobe still includes ribbons, laces and fripperies.  The fact that lingerie was an important component of a bride's trousseau was touchingly highlighted with a beautiful nightgown created by a bride's mother.  Its embellished satin bows remind the viewer that this is actually a seductive gown for a wedding night ...but lovingly festooned by Mother.  The bride entered her marriage with both a beautiful garment and her mother's blessings.

The second exhibit Dance & Fashion was larger and explored the remarkable synergy between dance and modern fashion.  As a lover of ballet, I was thrilled to view the pointe shoes worn by Margot Fonteyn. The exhibit clearly established the connection it intended with dance-inspired fashion displayed alongside intricately made costumes.  I also learned the origin of the ubiquitous ballet flat, a shoe designed during WWII to wear with designer Claire McCardell's dresses as heeled shoes were being severely rationed.

On the way home, I brainstormed ways to add more romantic balletic touches to my own wardrobe with surplice tops, wrap sweaters and black leggings.  I also thought it would be a good time to re-read my old favorite childhood book on ballet called To Dance To Dream. 

You may wonder what good exhibits like this does for a modern woman who exists at the speed of light.  Well, the unbridled beauty feeds the soul and fills a well that is often low on pleasure.  It causes me to slow down and simply look for the sheer wonder of what the human hand can create.  The exhibit halls were a cooled hushed oasis filled with mystery and shadows.  And like any good exhibit, it was a mini-trip through a looking glass to the past where I often meet someone I know but miss...me.

Nightie 'Nite

Nowhere in a women's wardrobe can she be so completely feminine as with lingerie.  It is the last bastion of lace, flounces, rustles, and truly luxurious fabrics.  This summer, our soft cool New England nights has me reaching for my nightgowns again.

Pajamas certainly have their place but nothing is as comfortable as a loose cotton gown skimming the body just before retiring to bed.  A touch of eyelet or a fetching row of petite buttons and a woman has the makings for romance. Nightgowns are the penultimate female garment so why not go all the way - as in feminine styling?  Even a tailored gown, simply because it IS a gown, is womanly.

My grandmother wore Barbizon nighties with matching robes which were made of an unusually soft cotton lawn that somehow never wrinkled.  The small ribbon closures and pintucks around the yoke added an extra measure of pretty that I remember well. Silk chemises with lace hems and the thinnest straps are raging in every lingerie catalog I've seen lately.  They brush across the body in the loveliest sherbet colors.  The long cotton nightgowns worn by Emily Blunt in the film The Young Victoria inspired me to buy a pretty good Eileen West facsimile.  Costumer Sandy Powell seems to get lingerie just so in all her films.  Which is why it's fun to imagine oneself in an imaginary literary land when wearing a long sweeping gown. 

One of my favorite things to do when I am online shopping is to read the previous reviews.  They  reveal sizing problems which is helpful, but also ring out with stars and enthusiastic endorsements.  Surprisingly, I find them to be articulate and thoughtful reflections, even the negative ones.  I especially loved this charming assessment for a nightgown I was contemplating:  "My husband said he loves waking up next to me in this gown".  That affirmation almost had me reaching for my credit card.  The reviewer's age group?  60-65! 

Vintage nighties are fairly inexpensive on eBay.  I bought a gorgeous one last summer in a luscious hot pink for pennies on the dollar.  But beware as chiffon can be stifling on a hot summer night.  Still, eBay is a terrific place to look at styles from the 1960's when gowns were adorably chaste and pretty.  Below is my favorite nightie from that era.  It's from a 1969 Seventeen (why there is a fold in the picture).  This was an ad for using Noxema on sunburns but I just love the celery green according pleats and the lace. 

Lest you think wearing a nightgown is only meant for sleeping with a man, remember the restorative delights of a nightie after a long hot and tiring day.  And so...more to that point, this:

Where's the man who could ease a heart like the satin gown? ~ Dorothy Parker