ivf update: egg retrieval complete!

Update time! But first, thank you all so much for your supportive and loving comments, texts, emails and messages. You are the BEST people. I mean it, you guys kick ass! I was overwhelmed with gratitude by your response to my last post, whether from strangers wishing us well to people I had known for years confiding about their own struggles with infertility. While reading your comments here, as well as on Instagram and Facebook, I broke down and cried for the first time since beginning this process. Up until that point, I had tried to remain stoic. Your kindness and compassion opened up an entire floodgate of emotions. A friend joked it was the hormones and they may have been a contributing factor, but I also think it was because my silence over our hidden struggle was finally broken. There's so much silence with infertility; talking about it openly and freely has been liberating and therapeutic. No one should suffer in silence. No matter what the issue.

So let's talk...

Since my last post, I completed the remainder of the hormone injections (23 in total!) and last Thursday we had the egg retrieval. I was excited, nervous & anxious as all heck the morning of the procedure. Let me preface this by saying IVF is not for the faint hearted and your ladybits are not your own after a while. See evidence here. Thankfully, Scott was there to allay my fears and make me laugh. Seeing him in scrubs made my day especially! 

After changing into my peek-a-bum gown, Heather, one of the fantastic nurses at the clinic, gave me an Ativan to calm my nerves, hooked me to an IV with antibiotics and then led us into the procedure room. I felt a bit of pain during the procedure so they gave me additional pain meds and then, poof! everything was awesome. The retrieval took about 30 minutes because I had 27 follicles. Even when it comes to IVF, I'm an overachiever (; 

Once it was over, I went into the recovery area for about 90 minutes where I ate snacks and chatted with Scotty and Heather. At least that's what Scott tells me, I don't have any recollection of that conversation which is probably for the best. On our way home, I started to feel a bit woozy and ended up throwing up on our lawn and then three more times inside (this time I made it to the bathroom). I was also very sore, like I had done hundreds and hundreds of crunches. In reality, I have no clue what that actually feels like, har har. After taking an extra strength Tylenol, I crawled into bed and remained there in a coma-like state until later that night when I woke up craving bbq t-bone steak with blue cheese crumbles. In total, it took me four days to recover from the egg retrieval and its accompanying cramps, soreness and bloating. It pains me to say this, but sweatpants were my best pal during those days, along with my bubu bag. 

Egg retrieval was an interesting procedure to say the least. Interesting as in your girl was a drugged up loopy mess (see exhibit A. above). Oh, the things I said! Scott remembered them ALL. Here are a few for your reading pleasure:

• I sang/rapped 2Pac's Baby Don't Cry, specifically this line: "Even when the road is hard, never give up. Baby don't cry." 

• I named two particularly painful eggs after politicians I'm not particularly fond of: Harper and Prentice.

• I told the entire medical team, nurses Carrie and Megan, embryologist Ryan and Dr. Motan, that I loved them. Because that's how we do.

• When Dr. Motan left the room at the end of the procedure, I hollered, "Peace out, Motan!"

In the end, Dr. Motan was able to retrieve 21 eggs! Not bad for a geriatric patient. From those 21 eggs, 18 were mature and 16 fertilized. Yesterday we received the most wonderful news from Ryan: all 16 of our embryos made it to the blastocyst stage! We're so happy and relieved. Now, we'll wait for my body to return to a balanced state and a few cycles from now I'll start prepping for a frozen egg transfer. Our journey is only just beginning. {Backstory: because I was showing symptoms of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS) and had extremely high levels of estrogen, Dr. Motan decided it was best to do a freeze all, which means they freeze all retrieved eggs and do a transfer at a later date. When the nurse first told me, I burst into tears. Rationally, I knew it was the right thing to do, but my heart just wasn't quite there yet. After leaving the clinic, I talked it out with Scott and a few girlfriends, went to HomeSense in search of a rug, ate a DQ cookie dough blizzard and had a good night's sleep. By the next morning, I had made peace with it.}

You will get there when you are meant to get there and not one moment sooner. So relax, breathe and be patient. -- Mandy Hale

I'm going to take the next little while to take care of myself and prepare for the transfer -- exercise, acupuncture, volunteering, cooking, spending time with friends and family and continuing to blog about and Instagram the things that make me happy: fashion, style, interior design and decor, and food, of course, lots and lots of food. My life isn't just about trying to have a baby. And thankfully it never has been. There's so much I want to do, see & make. Plus, I have a 40th birthday to celebrate this Saturday! And that means cake. 

To anyone else going through this process, I wish you mountains of luck and a happy ending. Hang in there! And remember, you are stronger than you think. If you need someone to talk to, email me: dajanaf@yahoo.com. I'm here for you! xoxo

P.S. There are two Facebook support groups I highly recommend: IVF Support Canada and IVF Support, the international version consisting of women from the UK, USA, Canada and Australia, where British ladies sometimes pepper their sentences with words like fortnight and stone, to describe their weight. Cool ass language aside, both forums have been a godsend to me these past few weeks. I'm with my people (which is the way I felt when I went to my first NDP meeting, haha) and the women participating in both groups are strong, open, lovely and brilliant. If forums are more your thing, this one's helpful. Familiarize yourself with this handy abbreviation guide first. Best of luck! I'm rooting for you.