Today is our 10th wedding anniversary. That's a BIG deal to us.
Marriage is definitely an adventure that takes a lot of work. But, it�s worth it. I love Scott more than anything and I�m extremely proud of our marriage. A friend once told me: I love how much you love Scott. You bring out the best in each other. That comment made me feel so good about where we're at in our relationship.
Marriage is definitely an adventure that takes a lot of work. But, it�s worth it. I love Scott more than anything and I�m extremely proud of our marriage. A friend once told me: I love how much you love Scott. You bring out the best in each other. That comment made me feel so good about where we're at in our relationship.
And no, we're not perfect. We�ve had our ups and downs just like every other couple (there have been times when I swear we're both speaking a different language), but we�ve learned to work through challenging times and we always try to find the positive in even those less-than-ideal situations.
Although we�re far from being experts, here are 10 things we�ve learned over the past decade that have helped us to stay married and happy (we worked on this list together in between periods during the Stanley Cup playoffs):
1. Make your marriage THE priority
Don't let other things get in the way. I'm Scott's best friend and he's mine. Period. Our marriage is the centre of our lives and we regularly check in with each other to see if the other person is feeling loved, needed and most importantly, heard.
Don't let other things get in the way. I'm Scott's best friend and he's mine. Period. Our marriage is the centre of our lives and we regularly check in with each other to see if the other person is feeling loved, needed and most importantly, heard.
2. Hold hands and kiss often
There's something to be said for the spontaneous make out. Even after ten years there's nothing quite like when Scott plops a big one on me (:
There's something to be said for the spontaneous make out. Even after ten years there's nothing quite like when Scott plops a big one on me (:
3. Explore new things together
We�ve taken a couples massage class, tried out circus school, ate live ant larvae in Thailand and ziplined in Costa Rica. It�s important to grow together, to push your boundaries and to move out of your comfort zone as a couple. Stagnation is never good. The adrenaline rush you get from trying these kinds of things doesn�t hurt either.
We�ve taken a couples massage class, tried out circus school, ate live ant larvae in Thailand and ziplined in Costa Rica. It�s important to grow together, to push your boundaries and to move out of your comfort zone as a couple. Stagnation is never good. The adrenaline rush you get from trying these kinds of things doesn�t hurt either.
4. Go on walks
Scott and I walk Lucy, our chocolate lab, every night and we make sure to leave our phones at home. This is our time to chat about our day, make plans for the future and sometimes even gossip (him more than me). It's uninterrupted �us� time and our favourite way to chill together.
Scott and I walk Lucy, our chocolate lab, every night and we make sure to leave our phones at home. This is our time to chat about our day, make plans for the future and sometimes even gossip (him more than me). It's uninterrupted �us� time and our favourite way to chill together.
5. Be silly together
We have fun every single day and we�re always trying to making each other laugh. This often involves trying out dance moves we've seen on "So You Think You Can Dance" and/or singing Rihanna songs in an operatic style (okay, the Rihanna stuff is all me). It also helps that we both have the same goofy sense of humour.
We have fun every single day and we�re always trying to making each other laugh. This often involves trying out dance moves we've seen on "So You Think You Can Dance" and/or singing Rihanna songs in an operatic style (okay, the Rihanna stuff is all me). It also helps that we both have the same goofy sense of humour.
6. Take turns making dinner
Shortly after we were married, I found myself at Superstore on a Sunday night shopping for groceries for the coming week. I was tired, grumpy and beyond annoyed. I called Scott and told him I was done with being the sole grocery buyer and meal planner. From then on, we shared dinner duties. Another good lesson here: ask for what you need. Your partner is not a mind reader.
7. The little things do matter
I can�t tell you how much it means to me to get an �I love you� text from Scott in the middle of a busy work day. And vice versa. Surprises involving baked goods and Starbucks chai lattes are superpopular in our house, too. We also like to leave each other love notes on our kitchen chalkboard. Those are the best.
I can�t tell you how much it means to me to get an �I love you� text from Scott in the middle of a busy work day. And vice versa. Surprises involving baked goods and Starbucks chai lattes are superpopular in our house, too. We also like to leave each other love notes on our kitchen chalkboard. Those are the best.
8. Keep the television out of the bedroom
Our bedroom is home to the trifecta - sleeping, reading and sex�ing. That's it. And while we�re on the topic of television, invest in a PVR, if you haven�t already. This is the best marriage keeper out there. Thanks to the pause button, I can provide ongoing commentary during a hockey game without fear of death.
Our bedroom is home to the trifecta - sleeping, reading and sex�ing. That's it. And while we�re on the topic of television, invest in a PVR, if you haven�t already. This is the best marriage keeper out there. Thanks to the pause button, I can provide ongoing commentary during a hockey game without fear of death.
9. Show your appreciation
Say �please� and "thank you" often and mean it. Don�t limit being polite to strangers and co-workers. Your partner deserves (and needs) to hear those words from you, too.
Say �please� and "thank you" often and mean it. Don�t limit being polite to strangers and co-workers. Your partner deserves (and needs) to hear those words from you, too.
10. Learn to compromise
A successful marriage requires selflessness. Ask yourself, �Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?� Happy wins. Almost always (;
A successful marriage requires selflessness. Ask yourself, �Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?� Happy wins. Almost always (;
After 10 years of marriage, this is what has contributed to the success of ours and helped us to stay connected and content. I�d love to hear what�s working for you!
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