Spring Miscellany

 

Last month I saw the film The Woman in Gold with my daughter.  I was not expecting to be so swept away by the plight of Maria Altmann as she attempts to recover a Gustav Klimt painting of her aunt, Adele Bloch-Bauer.  The beautiful portrait was stolen from Altmann's family by the Nazi's just prior to WWII in Austria and never returned.  A small piece of written legalese kept the portrait in Vienna after the war.

The movie is really about love of family and what it means to belong and the talismans that tie us to those we've lost, (although having a famous painting is quite a special talisman).  Soon after I saw the film, I read the book, The Lady in Gold: The Extraordinary Tale of Gustav Klimt's Masterpiece, Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer, and became even more immersed in Altmann's story.  I decided that I wanted to travel to the Neue Gallery in New York City to see the Klimt myself.

The Neue Gallery is a hushed and intimate museum and while Adele Bloch-Bauer's portrait commanded the room it hung in, the collections are small and personal.  In the museum shop, I purchased a keepsake box of the portrait which contained two beautiful lipsticks reminiscent of Bloch-Bauer's gold dress and the fairy rose tint of her lips.  I thought it was a fitting souvenir for a style writer but I also wanted something to remind me of the beautiful story of triumph and the long-reaching ties of familial bonds.  I highly recommend the film.

Right now, any spare time I have is spent voraciously reading about Edwardian British socialite Heather Firbank.  The new book about her lovely wardrobe, London Society Fashion...The Wardrobe of Heather Firbank, is a gorgeous tome of all the Downton-esque clothes your heart can stand.  Firbank stayed ahead of each trend and bought clothes lavishly from the best couturiers of her time.  Every item in the book represents a happy memory of her life - from flirtatious dances to the thrilling weddings of all her friends.  She lovingly saved every opulent dress and accessory by tucking them away in trunks.  Until her death, the wardrobe stood for all her dreams, most of which were tragically unrealized.  But fortunately for us, she could not relinquish her things and they were eventually donated to the Victoria and Albert Museum.  The book catalogues them in all their glory.

Recently, I read an article about aging written by Dominicque Browning.  Browning was the long-time editor in chief of House and Garden who was fired suddenly a few years ago.  In the article she talks about the difficulty of finding a job after being terminated and all the attending insecurities that one would naturally feel.  An older and wiser editor advised Browning to "Go where the love is", after she suffered further rejections in her employment search.  The phrase reminded me that sometimes we have to step back and really think about the places we spend our time and effort.  Do we feel welcomed in those places?  Are they places that appreciate our passions?  Sometimes we are lucky enough to work somewhere like that or perhaps we attend an exercise class that always makes us feel more of who we are, or we attend churches where we are accepted and wanted.  "Go where the love is" really came home for me after I read the Browning piece.  I suddenly decided I will no longer frequent our local library no matter how many fine books are there.  Over the years, I have found the staff to be cold and impersonal - they look right through me.  The special events I have attended often make me feel less than.  There are people who have entrenched relationships with the library and don't seem to want to make room for others. 

As well, I was asked to attend a PR event for a business I occasionally highlight in my columns.  I brought along a pal for fun but soon discovered I had only been invited to help see that the room was filled to impress other media.  The PR director, who often emails me to ask if I will include one of her clients in my work, was dismissive and snobby and after a few minutes, I felt painfully awkward.  My friend, an accomplished teacher, said she was uncomfortable too, because the other women wouldn't make eye contact or greet her.  It wasn't where the love is and I will carefully choose where I show up and spend my precious time in the future. These days I am finding love at a friendly yoga class on Saturday mornings.  I even found it in my gynecologists' office by the always-happy-to-see-me staff.  Ditto new work events I've been attending.  Go where the love is...

And finally, I am having a renewed affair with the lowly bar of soap.  There is something so soothing about slipping into a tepid bath after a hot day with a fragrant fresh bar of soap.  My favorites are made in Italy but I recently found a perfect French apricot bar at TJ Maxx - it will be lovely for cooling soaks on summer's most sultry nights.  Many soaps claim to be "triple-milled", which research tells me simply means they rinse off easily.  Still, I'm amazed at how the delicate scent of soap lingers on the skin.  There is also something really nice about taking baths in clear unadulterated water again...for now, I'm eschewing filmy body washes and overly-fruity bubble baths for a delicious change of pace.  Amazon sells lots of Italian soaps in the prettiest floral boxes.  Soap is truly an unexpected as well as inexpensive simple pleasure.

Seven Daffodils

Today I left my handbag in a grocery cart at the market.  I remember pushing the cart into a train of other carts and then driving home.  I didn't notice for several hours that my purse was gone until I went searching for my cell phone which is always waiting in my bag.  I remained very calm.  I drove back to the store and asked the manager at the courtesy desk if anyone had turned in a purse.  After several long minutes, it was handed back to me.  The manager told me that a woman had found it in the cart and said she almost took it home because it was so pretty.

It is a pretty little bag and I just bought it.  It's coral with a nice outside envelope for my phone.  Everything was intact and I'm glad the woman who found it, didn't take it home after all.  Things could have been very complicated had it been stolen.  The strange calmness I felt earlier was replaced with overwhelming gratitude and my mind wandered on the way home as to what I would have done had it turned out differently.  Where would I start?  With the cell phone or credit cards?  What about the check I had tucked away in my wallet?  How many zeroes could be written on that check?  Enough to wipe me out?  I shuddered.

A few weeks ago I went to a Jonathan Edwards concert.  It was a beautiful spring evening and the small theater, an old brick courthouse, was filled with a nice group of fans.  A warm scented breeze drifted through the transoms on top of the old windows which were propped open with short sticks of wood.  Edwards was barefoot and convivial.  He sang a few favorites and then a song I never heard before.  I'm not sure how I missed Seven Daffodils during my folksong-loving days but I was captivated with the poignant melody and the lyrics. 

It's a quietly pleasing piece about a lover without a fortune of his own who cannot give his beloved pretty things.  He tells her that what he can provide are moonbeam necklaces and rings, crusts of bread, and seven golden daffodils. 

Now I've heard that love won't pay the rent and the rumor is that marrying for it the second time around is pure folly.  But I know from personal experience that money can't hold your hand as you await CT results in the ER at midnight.  And I never turn down bread, with or without slabs of butter and really  - doesn't moonbeam jewelry sound positively enchanting?  As for daffodils, they make me feel as grateful as I felt tonight when my lost handbag was at last dropped into my waiting hands.

~

 I would rather Meg marry for love and be a poor man's wife than marry for riches and lose her self-respect. ~ Marmee (Little Women)

vacation photos: mexico

My mom and I recently took a week-long trip to the Riviera Maya in Mexico, which Scott planned as a surprise for me. I had no idea until we arrived at the airport where we were going, which was both thrilling and terrifying. I'd love to share some photos, if you'd like to take a look...

It was a relaxing week filled with 30+ degree days, ocean breezes, non-stop reading and even a couple of wild animals, more on those later. Our resort, El Dorado Royale, was beautiful and set right along the ocean. We enjoyed strolling through the expansive grounds in the evening before dinner (we ate our weight in fresh fish and platanos, sweet fried plantain). Twelve weddings took place during the week we visited, including the one above. The fairy lights and paper lanterns that decorated the dance floor were so pretty. What a picturesque setting for a wedding!

I always looked forward to seeing the resort's resident iguana, who I named Hector. Mom not so much, always making her way around him slowly as if he was about to rip her to shreds.

My mom and I had never traveled alone together prior to this trip. I wasn't sure what to expect and was a wee bit nervous but mostly excited. There was no need for concern because, as I quickly found out, we're fantastic travel buddies. Although I'm pretty certain I drove her batty wanting to take pictures of our outfits every night.




We fell into a comfortable routine of daily rituals: long lingering breakfasts, reading marathons on the beach, afternoon siestas on our balcony which was equipped with a hammock to take in the view, an occasional cocktail (we were neither teetotallers nor lushes), dolling ourselves up for dinner and entertainment "nights out." It was a lovely trip from start to finish.




Some funny moments:

• Although the El Dorado was an all inclusive resort, we still wanted to tip the hardworking staff to help supplement their meagre wages. Unfortunately, because this was a surprise trip I didn't get the chance to pick up some American dollar bills beforehand. At the end of our first dinner, we were so embarrassed we didn't have any tip money we ran for the door as soon as our waiter went into the kitchen. Dine and dash Rado & Dajo style! The next day we promptly visited the ATM. 
• Most of the resort staff spoke excellent English but some things were still lost in translation. One morning my mom was asked by one of the restaurant hostess' what our last name was. My mom replied Fabjanovich and started to spell it, F as in Frank, she began saying. The hostess wrote down Frank as our last name and that's what we called ourselves for the remainder of the trip, the Frankies.
• Walking back to our room after taking in Wednesday night's entertainment (Dorado Idol), I spotted an animal approaching us and pointed it out to my mom. She responded with, "Oh, that's just a cat. Don't worry, honey." Then it got closer and I realized it wasn't a cat but instead a coati. At that same moment, my mom realized what it was and did a sprint to our room! I've never seen her move that fast. Ha!
• We didn't do any excursions. When I broached the subject of an afternoon jaunt to Cancun or a catamaran trip to Isla Mujeres, my mom deadpanned, "If we go to Cancun there is a possibility we'll be kidnapped for ransom and if we take the boat to Isla Mujeres there is a possibility we'll be kidnapped by pirates. And if not pirates, the boat could capsize and we'll be eaten by sharks." I realized pretty quickly, during this getaway, where my active imagination comes from (;
• Check out this tweet. If you didn't know I was a nerd before, you do now. Yep, I brought an NDP sign to Mexico with me just in case they won the provincial election in Alberta. And they did! We celebrated that historical win on Cinco de Mayo which was perfectly fitting.   

I have to say, I enjoyed spending this kind of quality uninterrupted time with my OBF (original best friend). My mom is such a sweet, thoughtful, funny and gentle soul. It was a joy to have a week of connecting with her. And during this trip, it also hit me (hard) that this lovely lady of mine, who I have always seen as a pillar of strength, is aging. And because of this I need to be more patient with her. Whether it's not charging ahead of her on walks and instead slowing my pace to echo hers or giving her some time to mull things over, I need to be more cognizant of the fact she's slowing down a bit. She is 66 after all, which I often forget because I only see her as my mom and nothing else.



Overall Mexico was the vacation we both needed - to just laze around, soak in the sunshine, hang out and read. We both felt refreshed and recharged. I didn't realize how much I needed a change of scenery until I got there. My mom feels the exact same way. We both have extra pep in our step since coming home.

Have you ever been to Mexico? Where's your favourite place to stay? And have you ever traveled with one of your parents? I'd love to know.

Anyway, hope you've had a good few weeks. It's back to reality for me! On Monday I start the next step in the FET (frozen embryo transfer) process. It involves taking a medication that will shut down my hormonal system and put me in a menopausal state (hot flashes, night sweats & headaches). Yikes. Wish me luck!

At Home with Madam Chic

This is the perfect picture for Mother's Day.  And it charmingly touches upon my infatuation with ballet as Mother is wearing toe shoes.  I assume the silky pink footwear illustrates that she is executing arabesques in her daily round which includes washing hose and darning argyle socks.

These days I am not at home much and I miss it terribly.  There is no time right now to plant cheery annuals in containers for the terrace or make blueberry crumble, my favorite springtime dessert.  And not much time for reading either.  When I can dip into a book, it is late at night and only for a few moments.  More often than not, I am reaching for Jennifer L. Scott's book, At Home with Madam Chic.

Although I don't know Jennifer, she did ask me to review the galley of At Home with Madam Chic before the book was published last fall but I wasn't able to pick it up in earnest until now.  It is providing me with soothing inspirational bedtime reading - like a comforting lullaby.  Jennifer is much younger than I, but she writes with a refreshing wisdom beyond her years - I like her very much.  I am guessing that when she isn't giving TED talks and conducting book signings, she lives a quiet life that includes homecaring in the tradition of the French family she resided with during her Paris study years - the ones with Madam Chic at the helm.  I love the tips in her book about meal planning and firing up the slow cooker, her recipes, and accompanying music recommendations.  It all makes being at home seem so tranquil to me as I run hither and yon and beyond. 

Jennifer's solution for troubles is to find inner peace in the inner sanctum of home doing a myriad of ordinary daily tasks - like washing windows and organizing drawers and cupboards.  She urges us to create a pause in the middle of our at-home-days to include a warming cup of tea and she tells us that orchids are really elegant flowers to cultivate for the house.

I wish I had time for plants and cookery but to every time there is a season and this is my season to be busy outside the house.  But it doesn't mean I don't long to be like Madam Chic, and have fresh flowers, symphonic music, and an organized junk drawer.  For now, I will look for contentment in Jennifer's gentle guidance and advice about living a chic and happy life at home.

thoughts & photos from my 40th

On March 28, I turned 40. And, I have to say, it was one of my favourite birthdays.

The day before, my friend Cathy treated me to an amazing lunch at one of my fave local spots, Canteen. It was my first real ladydate after the egg retrieval so I was beyond excited to see Cathy (and to get out of the house & out of my sweatpants)! If you go, order the fry bread. It's delectable!

Cathy and my friend Ayesha also had Frickin' Delights Donuts delivered to my house that day. Could there be a better surprise than a donut surprise from kick arse friends? I think not.

The next day, Scotty, with the help of my talented friend Christine, threw me a surprise brunch cooking class at The Vitality Kitchen with some of my closest friends (my fave Crave cupcakes were there too). I burst into tears when I walked in and saw all of their faces! Not because I was sad, but because I had never felt so loved as I did in that moment. Best. feeling. ever.

Photo by my pal Christine Shankowsky of Just Bella Blog

The brunch was fun, educational and delicious (plus pretty! C did a lovely job as you can see above). I tried Cordyceps tea (a medicinal mushroom) and cashew cream for the first time and dug them both, while the others gave bulletproof coffee a try (a cup of joe avec coconut oil). We also learned heaps of interesting facts about food and nutrition from proprietress and chef Bianca, who, unbeknownst to Christine, I had already been following on Instagram for quite some time. Serendipity in action!

L to R: Christine, Bianca, me, Kat, Nathalie, Ayesha & Liz. Sadly missed: Rosa, Cathy, Caroline, Misty, Jessica & Malti.

That evening Scott and I had reservations at North 53 because their Rosy Cheeks cocktail, a libation inspired by Persian ice cream, is the most unctuous drink in the entire city. As we were walking towards the restaurant, I caught a glimpse of a man who looked like my brother sitting at one of the tables. Well, it was my brother! Scott had planned for my mom, dad, brothers and niece to join us at the restaurant as a surprise. Boy, do I love that guy! He made 40 very special for me.

My family. I love these people so dang much.

After dinner and dessert (a giant warm maple & chocolate skillet cookie with vanilla ice cream) we all traipsed over to our house to open presents and enjoy more dessert, a delicious white chocolate hazelnut torte made by my mom. We enjoyed the leftover torte the next day at a birthday dinner at my parent's house. Yup, more food! For our birthdays, my mom always cooks our favourite meals. She's the best.

One of the most special gifts I received, apart from Josephine, came from my 11 year old niece Raissa who wrote the loveliest poem about my blog. It was unexpected and so sweet.

The following weekend, my friend Ayesha planned another surprise birthday dinner at The Common with a few of my good pals. I ordered a Lavender Rocks, of course, another top notch beverage. But more important than any libation, I couldn't have asked for a lovelier birthday season or lovelier friends. Only time allows you to collect a quality crew of amazing people like I have in my life. The many texts, phone calls, cards and messages -- my heart was, and still is, so full. Thank you all!

People have asked me how I feel about turning 40 or if I feel differently. The truth is I don't get nervous or scared about birthdays and this one was no different, although it does feel so adult, so official. Most days I don't feel like a grown up at all and I keep waiting for someone to knock on the door and demand I return my adult card. And while 40 feels so big, I'm embracing this decade with an open heart and mind. I have no idea what the future holds but I grew so much in the past decade (mostly in my backside, har har) I'm excited to see what this next decade holds for me.

Here's what I know for certain:

• Family is everything.
• I have the best friends I've ever had. 
• It's okay not to fit in. I don't at times and quite often I get along better with kids. Go figure.
• Age is relative and totally dependent on your attitude.
• Confidence comes from being yourself.
• I'm much stronger than I ever knew. 
• It's liberating not caring what people think of you. Which goes along with this practical wisdom from a speech John Gardner gave at Stanford University, 61 years after he graduated: "You come to understand that most people are neither for you nor against you; they are thinking about themselves. You learn that no matter how hard you try to please, some people in this world are not going to love you, a lesson that is at first troubling and then really quite relaxing."
• Just because I'm 40 doesn't mean I should have everything together and that's okay. I'm still learning, growing and figuring things out, like how to stop worrying so much. 
• I'm at peace with my body, jiggly bits and all. I talked about that in depth here. That doesn't mean I don't want things to jiggle. It just means I'd rather eat or read than exercise. 
• Further to that, a good night's sleep, laughter and plenty of water are better than botox. 
• Life is too short (and precious) to allow drama or toxic people in your life. 
• There's nothing wrong with setting boundaries, for family and friends.
• It's perfectly fine to ask for help and support. I did in this post!
• Pursuing your passion is good for the soul.
• It's a waste of time to compare yourself to others.
• And I'll leave you with this, my mom was right about almost everything. She's going to love reading that! And I'm going to love travelling with her this Saturday! Eeek, I'm still vibrating from Tuesday's surprise!

Thank you for being part of my journey, too.

Here's to living our lives to the fullest no matter how old, or young, we are! Cheers to 40!

scott surprised me with a trip to...

I don't know where! Yes, you read that correctly. Tonight Scott surprised me with the news that on Saturday morning, this Saturday, my mom and I are heading somewhere warm for a week of rest and relaxation! AHHH. This guy of mine! My heart has been beating out of my chest with excitement since he told me. 

I have to be honest, as a major trip planner, this is all a bit surreal to me. That being said, I'm glad he gave me a few days to pack, shop (whenever a trip is imminent I freak out and feel like I need to buy ALL the things) and get back down to earth. Hours later and my head is still in the clouds. 

Has someone ever surprised you like this? How did you handle the news? After he told me, I burst into tears of joy and then kept on repeating, "Is this for real?" "This isn't a joke?" "Is this really happening?" Which is exactly what I said when he proposed to me thirteen years ago. Go figure.

Follow along on Instagram and Facebook to find out where the heck we're going. You'll get to find out when I do. I still can't believe it -- what an incredibly unexpected and beautiful surprise! Thank you so much, Scotty!

P.S. The craziest coincidence? I purchased this gorgeous Topshop bathing suit a couple of weeks ago for a song and was bemoaning the fact I had nowhere to wear it. Isn't life funny!?

Arabesque

After 15 years of lessons as a girl, ballet has always remained close to my heart.  The best way to enjoy ballet is to see it performed live in a theater - nothing quite matches it because ballet requires an audience to give it life.  The excitement before the rise of the curtain along with the breathtaking moment when the lights dim and the stage suddenly opens to pure fantasy, creates vital energy for the dance.  When my craving could not be satisfied with live ballet anywhere nearby, a friend and I slipped into a local cinema after work that was telecasting a performance of the Russian Bolshoi Ballet's Ivan the Terrible.

The cinema was dark, hushed and cool.  Fortunately, I thought to bring my work bag pashmina and as I draped it about my shoulders, I nestled in with a weary sigh to watch the screen.  Not exactly a romantic ballet, Ivan the Terrible was exquisitely danced with the enduring magic I was longing for.  The choreography was a mosaic of complexities in perfect harmony with the music.  The arabesques and pirouettes were stylized...precise, but also bewitching and graceful.  The story was interpreted beautifully - it was deliciously brooding but not at all depressing and I soon became lost and swept away for two blissful hours.

I am incredibly busy right now.  This past week I hosted an open house at my new job.  Part of my role is ambassadress of my boss' brand.  It was a great success but required lots of fancy footwork and coordination as well.  And connections, including the mayor's office and the newspapers.  In a way, I cut my teeth because I haven't entertained in a big way for a very long time.  Now I am off to orchestrate a bridal shower for my daughter and of course the penultimate party of all - her wedding in July.  My calendar is filled with appointments, calls to make, and errands - so many errands.  Every time I cross something off my list, 3 more tasks magically appear.  It has been happily challenging...and stressful.

Still, in the midst of all the joyous chaos to come, I will don an air of quiet grace and understated elegance, and my intention is to perfect a flawless arabesque of my own.